[For Tony]

[wildlyconflicted]

The world filtered through to her in pieces. Flashes, distant and muddled, too real to be a dream but too obscure to be reality: Tony's voice, strangled with fear and impatience; lights first bright and then dim; the efficient brush of fingers across her skin. Instinctively, she felt she ought to be up, doing something, anything, but every part of her was inexplicably heavy, weighed down with the mantle of sleep. For a long time she gave into the perpetual downward tug into the murky, drifting depths and let herself float there in the dark.

Consciousness returned to Pepper with a sudden, sharp intake of breath. Eyes slit open, the colors of the room were muted, desaturated, as faded as she herself felt. Disoriented but too worn to care much, she stared blearily at the ceiling.

A bed. She was in a bed. And she hurt more than she could have imagined was possible.

Comments

[wildlyconflicted]

The crying went on for quite some time. Pepper had hoped that if— when Tony finally managed to utter the words she might be a little less of a mess, but it was a final straw in a very substantial, overwhelming pile.

"Could you hand me a tissue please," she finally managed on an unsteady exhalation, perilously close to blowing her nose on the sheet, which was not exactly what the moment called for.

[notawastedlife]

"Does someone have a- there's a bandage," Tony said, seizing on this as an opportunity to actually do something, where that something was rummage on the table next to her. "And- yes. Tissue."

He handed it over, with the hand he'd managed to get the armor off of, watching her cautiously, as if she might-

Well, as if she might start crying again.

[wildlyconflicted]

The tissue was a good thing, a sort of flimsy paper lifeline to Pepper's sanity. Wiping her face and blowing her nose and generally collecting herself gave her something to focus on. It also kept her from having to immediately reply to the sentiment. Now that it had finally happened, she hardly knew what to say.

She might have agreed that yes, his timing was extraordinarily poor. Not only did he deftly choose a moment when she was already emotional, but he waited until she'd been at death's door to comprehend how important the gesture was. She could have made a very strong case for his being absolutely horrible at this.

The thing was, that wasn't at all what she wanted to do.

"Thank you," she finally settled on, a flush high in her cheeks as she peered at Tony over the now-ragged tissue.

[notawastedlife]

"Least I could do," Tony said, adding a moment later, "probably... literally."

The crying had subsided, and she wasn't yelling at him. In other circumstances, he'd have counted it a win.

In other circumstances, she wasn't in a clinic bed and they hadn't been arguing over who got to wear the poisonous arc reactor. (Him, obviously. He'd have to find a doctor to back up that it would always be a bad idea this close to the accident. Which meant finding a doctor he could pay off with air conditioning or something.)

[wildlyconflicted]

"No, I mean for everything," Pepper replied, her voice still a little less steady than she would have liked. At that point, though, everything was a little less steady than she would have liked.

"Not just that- Although that was nice. Um." She floundered, her thought processes frustratingly slow. "Unexpected. But I mean all of it, getting me out and the chest piece and-"

Only then did it occur to her that he must have literally taken it out of his own chest to hand it over for her. Through the thrum of her headache and the powerful urge to cry, she realized that he probably would have done as much even if he hadn't had a replacement.

"Just thank you," she finished, chin still trembling a bit despite her best efforts to reel in the waterworks.

[notawastedlife]

"So do I," Tony muttered, pulling the gauntlet off his other hand.

The most he could have done was ensure none of it had been necessary. Been better prepared. Done... something. Kept the house standing. More importantly, kept Pepper standing, instead of laid up here.

"You're welcome," he said, louder, overriding the previous thought. "Thank you. For... not- Do you need more painkillers? Doc!"

[wildlyconflicted]

The shout intensified a headache already amplified by Pepper's earlier crying jag. Wincing, she held up a palm for Tony to cease despite that she very clearly did, in fact, need some more painkillers.

"Please stop shouting," she said, and laid her other hand across her forehead as she closed her eyes. "And stop beating yourself up. You saved the life of the woman you love. And she loves you. I love you. Painkillers would be good, though. Without shouting."

[notawastedlife]

"On it, ditto to the... love thing, I'll be right back," Tony said, jumping to his feet, mentally brushing the request to stop beating himself up aside. He felt it was still justified. Kept him honest. From slipping.

Now, though, he had a doctor to track down and browbeat into providing additional painkillers.